Dinner is early in the evening and afterwards there is nothing to do. My roommate is gone, probably over to Cottage C to get some crazy pills. I try to read but I can’t focus on Rilke right now. My head is still swirling with anxiety and depression and the withdrawal that I can almost feel, like standing in the surf with an ocean current pulling at my legs, pulling me back out into the depths.
I wonder what the moon is doing in the sky right now. I wonder if any of my friends think of me when they get in bed, just before they fall asleep. Who am I kidding? They hate you and you deserve to be hated. What you did to her…wait…what did I do again? A voice that is my own asks, want to see the slideshow?